LEARNING A TRADE
Filed by Mick Nielson, GBWC
GBI Case File No. GBWC-2008-27/318
Ghostbusters Omnibus Timeline Year Twenty-Six
" Are we there yet?"
Mick looked over at
John with daggers in his eyes. "Look, we BOTH know that you
are old enough to not pull that crap."
looking out the window. "Sorry, its just that you drive like a
woman, and if all the Ghostbusters drove this way, the ghosts
would eat everyone before they even got there."
gripped the wheel tighter, trying to resist the urge to stomp
on the gas pedal and give the kid a reason to see a therapist;
But he didn't. "John, if you're so bored, why did you beg me
to let you come with?"
"Because I'm tired of pretending
to go along with you and your friends about this stuff..." John
said, shrugging again.
"Oh, still playing the blind
"Hey, I'm not saying you all don't have a good
con going on, OBVIOUSLY its working, people have been buying
into it all over the country for decades... I just wanna know
how the magicians do their tricks."
"John, you've seen
Vampires. Not to mention we have a ghost LIVING in our
"You all are techno-geeks, that could be
a hologram projection. Its all special effects."
then I'm GLAD you're here"
"Why? So I can follow in
your footsteps one day?" He asked, laughing.
hoping you'll get the crap scared out of you." He said,
suddenly screeching around a corner and hitting the brakes,
rocking the Ecto-Cruiser to a stop in front of their
moments later, Mick shouldered his proton pack and snapped his
belt strap together. John leaned against the car, looking down
at the equipment. "So which one do I get to use?" He asked,
eyeing the Rail Gun.
"Hmmm... Good question..." Mick said,
then plucked the Ecto-Goggles out of the trunk, handing them
to John. "There ya go." He said, closing the trunk and heading
inside. John looked at them and rolled his eyes,
Mick entered and was greeted by the bakery's
owner, who frantically explained the situation, tugging at
Mick's jumpsuit sleeve and pointed to the back room. Mick,
having been in the business for quite a few years, had almost
learned to SPEAK panicked woman, so he just waited until she
was finished, then placed a hand on her shoulder. "Ma'am,
there's nothing to worry about, you and your employees just
wait out on the sidewalk, I'll take care of the problem." He
John chuckled as he followed Mick through the
Bakery. "That's a good tactic..."
"What is?" Mick asked,
calibrating the PKE meter.
"Getting the suckers
outside. This gives you plenty of free time to stage the
"Where do you come up with this stuff, kid?"
Mick asked, beginning to scan a pool of ectoplasm collecting
on one of the bags of flour near the door.
reading up on con men on the Internet."
"Oh yes. The
ever-reliable Internet..." He responded, shaking his head as the
PKE beeped a few times, giving him a readout of he spirit's
playing around with the Ecto-Goggles, holding them to his eyes
like binoculars and looking around the store. Inside the
lenses, John was given information about air temperature, wind
direction and other things he had no idea what they meant.
Pke? Spectral counters?
Then, he turned towards the
door where Mick had entered and was face-to-face with a
dripping, disgusting looking blob stuck to the wall, staring
at him. John laughed. "Wow, this is some pretty impressive
stuff..." He said, approaching
finished scanning the back room of the Bakery, but only found
ectoplasm and a lot of destroyed property... As he entered the
dining area again though, he froze. "John... Back away now." He
John ignored his guardian. "Hey, Uncle Mick... How
do you guys make the ghosts interact with the background in
these things?" He asked, reaching out to touch the now
growling blob. It began shifting its shape, forming a solid
jaw, which had rows of rotten looking jagged teeth inside.
John flinched. "Hey, that's pretty good... Are one of your team
mates cartoon animators?"
Mick dove forward and tackled
John to the floor just as the ghost's jaw shot out from its
body and snapped at the spot where John's hand had been a
moment prior. Mick swatted him on the head and quickly
struggled to his feet under the weight of the proton pack
strapped to him. He dragged John down one of the aisles away
from the Ghost, pulling his thrower out and powering it
the Ecto-Goggles when Mick had tackled him, and was now
looking at the creature he'd come so close to touching... But he
was seeing it WITHOUT the goggles. "Holy shit!" He said as
Mick pulled his gun out. Mick looked over at him,
"Hey! Language!" He shouted.
It sprang off the wall like a bouncy
ball and sailed through the air at Mick's head, but the
Ghostbuster was able to duck in time and turned just as it
splattered against the opposite wall, leaving a big, wet stain
in its place as it dripped down to the floor. The Ghost
spotted John again and slithered across the tile towards him,
the jaws reappearing. John was frozen in
Mick saw it
going for John, but couldn't fire, as the kid was between Mick
and the Ghost. He grabbed John's foot and yanked him away just
as the jaw launched forward again and snapped at John's face.
Mick kept going, scuffling backwards as the blob chased John,
who was now screaming.
"I'm gonna let go, then you
slide between my legs, understand!?" Mick shouted, hoping his
charge heard him.
After he'd gotten a bit of distance
between them and the blob, he let go and John pushed backwards
with his hands, sliding between Mick's boots and crouching
behind him. Mick didn't waste anymore time, he let loose with
his proton stream right at the floor and it struck the ghost's
jaw, which was shooting out again.
The ghost screeched
and its jaw slipped from the ectoplasmic tendril that launched
it each time, chattering around on the floor. As the Ghost
flew up into the air, writhing inside the capture beam, its
jaw jumped around at Mick's feet and suddenly latched onto his
leg, biting him through his jumpsuit. "Agh!" Mick shouted,
shaking his leg as he struggled to control the fighting
frantically looked around for something to hit it with, his
eyes resting on a rolling pin laying on the floor. He grabbed
it and reared it back like a baseball player, swinging with
all his might... and hitting Mick in the back of the knee. Mick
fell to a crouch, clutching his leg as the Ghost was freed,
zooming through the ceiling. John cringed and hid the rolling
pin behind his back.
"John... How about you stop helping,
and just watch? Kay?" Mick asked him, then rubbed his knee,
getting to his feet and yanking the chattering teeth off him.
He dropped them to the ground and stomped, shattering the
was beginning to regret bringing the boy along... He knew he
could handle the Ghost, the jaw-popping thing had caught him
by surprise, but he had it under control now. He quickly
headed up the stairs, pulling the PKE meter out once again and
following its signature to the spot where it had emerged from
the floor. From there, it was easy to track down, because of
the slime trail on the ground.
Mick put away the meter,
gripping his thrower in both hands and following it into the
office, where the trail suddenly ended. Mick looked around,
but couldn't find any trace of the creature, aside from the
slime trail it left behind when it entered the
Then, just as he was leaving, he heard a "plop,
plop-plop" sound behind him and spun back around just in time
to see the blob fly through the air and splatter against his
chest. He recoiled, but the thing was attached to him now. It
began spraying him in the face and Mick was blinded. Maybe
this was the reason the bosses had made that ‘Never bust
rushed into the room and saw Mick fighting with the creature.
Once again, John looked around for something to help with,
spotting a bag of flour. He shrugged, grabbed the flour and
ran at Mick, flinging the contents onto Mick's chest. For a
moment, Mick just stopped, dumbfounded by the boy's action,
then the ghost began coughing, slopping off of Mick's
jumpsuit, trying to morph away, but the flour seemed to be
turning its consistency to that of a more sticky
Mick said, watching. "Ya know, in all the years of
Ghostbusting, I don't think anyone has ever tried that..." He
said, then kicked the trap into the center of the room. Mick
blasted the ghost, "yanked" it up into the air and set off the
trap, sucking it inside the trap, which beeped twice
handed the check to the owner outside the Bakery, John watched
him and tried coming up some method of explaining away what
he'd just seen... But nothing was coming to mind. Had he just
witnessed a REAL Ghost-bust? Mick came over, attempting to
dust the flour off, but only succeeding in smearing the gloppy
slime into it more, so he gave up.
"You're doing my
laundry ya know..." He said, motioning for John to get into the
car, which he did, not even arguing about the
As the car pulled away from the Bakery, John
finally nodded. "Okay, I can't figure out how you did it." He
Mick laughed. "Ya know kid, sometimes I wonder
"So... Its all real?"
"Like we've all been telling you this whole time."
sat in silence for a few minutes as the cruiser made its way
through the afternoon traffic of L.A., considered all the
information he'd just taken in, re-thinking all the events of
the last few months of his life spent with Mick and the WC
Ghostbusters... And came to a decision.
"How do I get my
Mick just looked at him, surprise
plastered on his face as thick as the flour-slime plastered on