STEVENS GO SMASH?
Filed by Dr. Kyle L. Stevens, South Team Co-Captain
GBI Case File GBWC-2003-21/013
Filed by Dr. Kyle L. Stevens, South Team Co-Captain
GBI Case File GBWC-2003-21/013
" Master, I have all the abilities to cause nationwide panic ."
" Hobnail, don't be so sure of that. I have created a spell that you to cast upon a Ghostbuster and it will cause them to be in complete rage, thus will break the team up permanently. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !!"
"Master, I shall do as you wish. Give me the spell and I'll make a break of the GBWC. HEHEHAHATAHE!!!"
Kyle walked into the kitchen. " I miss working at Stevens Point Hospital." he grumbled.
" Why don't you sue them ? " asked Harness with a smirk on his face.
" I don't want to hear the words 'sue' or 'lawsuit' as long as I live." Kyle mentioned while fixing himself some cereal. Just before he took a spoonful taste from his cereal bowl, the phones were ringing off the hook.
" Hello, Ghostbusters: West Coast, there's a haunting in the west, you've called the best." sparked Harness answering the phone. Kyle and Peter listened to Andy's conversations of " Yeses" and "Okays ". After Andy got off the phone, he told them.
" Some woman named Ms. Sally Hartsfield called in saying that a goblin is flying above the city causing havoc."
Maggie came into the room, meowing for Kyle's cereal.
" No, Maggie, you can't eat cereal. Sugar is bad for you." he told her as if she knew what he was trying to say to her.
" I'll set the alarm." Peter said as he got up to flip the switch. The alarm went off for a few seconds just as the other Ghostbusters woke up.
" Hey ! What the heck is going on ?!?!" yelled Chad.
" We have a bust ." Jeff called from downstairs getting him self dressed.
Maggie jumped on the table. She savored the moment to lap her tongue in Kyle's cereal while he was getting ready to go on the bust.
" Oh, no ! Maggie is eating my cereal !" he said, angrily.
" Relax, Kyle, you can eat more later." said Peter.
" That darn cat !" he desisted, " But she is my sweetheart." Kyle added, after he walked over to her to give his cat a hug.
Soon they got into the Ecto-1S and they back out of the driveway.
" What do we have ?" asked Chad.
" We have a hobgoblin in Hollywood ." answered Jeff, glancing at the PKE in his hand.
" Be careful, guys, hobgoblins can be annoying." Kyle said, looking at his portable laptop. " It says here that the most annoying hobgoblin ever known was called Hobnail..."
" I am having so much fun. Hehetahahee !" he giggled. " Oh ! I'm annoying myself !" Hobnail added, while covering his ears and seeing the Ecto-1S pull up.
The Ghostbusters got out of the SWAT van with their proton packs armed and ready.
" On our lead, gentlemen, get ready to fire." Kyle ordered, raising his neutrona wand at Hobnail.
The hobgoblin saw their attack plan but he countered it with his annoying laughter.
They covered their ears; as did the people at the scene who also ran out of their vehicles and fled from the annoying laughter.
" At least they'll be safe." mentioned Kyle as he watched his fellow member, Peter Kong, walk up to Hobnail.
"Let me at him. Let me at him." Peter said, as he jabbed into the wind.
" Stupid fool ! It's time for me to cast a spell of complete rage." Hobnail said, as he charged his magical powers towards Peter.
" Peter, watch out !" Kyle yelled, shoving him out of the spell's path.
Kyle was hit by the spell. And the hobgoblin flew away from them, laughing.
The other Ghostbusters ran up to Kyle. "Hey, Mister Creepy...is he gonna be all right?"
Jeff looked at his PKE meter. "There's a PK wave...but it seems dormant for now. But I don't know what kind of spell the little creep cast on him."
"I brought my playback pen." Peter told him. "I recorded the spell--maybe you can find out what it was from the incantation."
"Might work" Jeff said. "I'll try and keep the meter on until we get back to HQ. That way if something starts to happen we'll know."
" Thanks, Jeff, I take it that hobgoblin has left town." Kyle told him.
"Puytero Remaedor Indono..." Jeff said, finding the words in one of the Spirit Compendium files. "Oh nuts..."
"What is it?" Andy asked.
"The spell he cast on Kyle is called the complete rage spell. If he gets angry at any time over the next twenty four hours, the spell will take over." explained Jeff.
"That ain't good. We better go tell him NOW..."
While in Kyle's bedroom, he was sleeping in his bed with his cat, Maggie sleeping on his chest. But Kyle's other cat, Mr. Whiskers came in yowling for his attention.
" Whiskers, don't scratch up my bed sheets." Kyle told him. However, his cat just meowed and climbed on his bed.
" No ! Stop, Whiskers, your scratching my leg !" he scolded his cat.
Whiskers just meowed and scratched into his leg. Kyle rose up after placing Maggie on his pillow. " You're making me angry." he said to his cat.
Just then the complete spell token over him. Kyle clinched his stomach and chest as his body grew immense size and developed large muscles, as well.
He tried to speak but he could only grunt, " Stevens go smash !"
His two cats ran underneath his bed as Kyle walked out of his bedroom and into the garage area.
He glanced the garage door for a moment in anger, until he thought of the hobgoblin for a moment.
He raised his fist up and grunted, " Stevens go smash !" as he smashed the garage door open.
However, Jeff had heard the crashing sound and so did the others.
" Kyle's angry." mentioned Jeff. " Look what he did to the garage door."
" Holy crap !" Andy said , in shock.
" Kyle's out there. Be afraid, guys, be very afraid." said Peter.
So they loaded their gear and settled into the Ecto-1S in search of Dr. Stevens and Hobnail, the hobgoblin.
" Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order ?"
" I would like to order a double bacon cheeseburger, a milk shake, and a large fry." Hobnail grinned, mischievously.
" That'll be $ 5.79, sir, please drive in at the pickup window." said the Cashier, until she heard a long and continuous flatulating sound in the speakercom.
The cashier looked out the window to see what was going on and she saw that Hobnail was doing.
" Hey ! Stop that and pay for your food !" she yelled at him.
" Bah ! Here's a little order for you!" scolded the hobgoblin as he magically made the food that he ordered fly at the cashier, spattering on her.
Hobnail laughed in victory as he flew off.
Until the visitors and celebrities heard a loud voice yell, " Stevens go smash !".
They saw an immense figure crashing through the restaurant. Kyle grunted," Stevens go smash ! Stevens go smash !"
The workers, celebrities, and visitors were fleeing in terror as they seen Kyle tearing the place apart throwing tables, chairs, food, and etc.
Some of the more popular celebrities, Brittany Spears, Justin Timberlake, Marlon Brando, Cher, and Avril Lavigne were nailed by the food that Kyle had thrown.
" Stevens go smash !" Kyle yelled as he saw his teammates.
" Dr. Stevens, as an official Co-captain of this team. I order you to stop and come with us for the cure." ordered Andy.
" Watch out, Andy, he might get angrier at us." warned Peter.
" I can handle it , Pete." snapped Andy, approaching Kyle.
However, Andy was seen. Angrily, Kyle yelled " Stevens go smash !" and picked up a load of food from the dinner tables and started throwing the food at the them.
Jeff had grabbed Avril Lavigne, using her as a shield, while turkey, corn, and gravy was thrown towards them.
Andy and the others fired their proton beams at Kyle, knocking him back.
" The beams didn't even phase his skin at all." said Chad, " And , Jeff, are you insane ? You used Avril Lavigne as a shield !"
Kyle arose, hovering over Peter and Chad. " Stevens go smash !" he grunted, as he knocked them to the floor.
And he ran outside Planet Hollywood.
" Let's get him." ordered Andy, as the other followed.
Jeff had thrown Avril Lavigne on her butt. " You've got corn in my hair and I have a concert tonight ! Why does everything have to be so complicated. ?" she yelled at Jeff.
" Yes." Toby answered, while placing his mask on. He climbed onto the platform. He read his lines and began to perform his role.
" Unhand Mary Jane, Carnage ! " he shouted.
" Never, Spider-Man, I'll drop her into this pit of molten lava." Walken acted
However, they both heard a voice say , " Stevens go smash !"
And Kyle knocked them off their platforms. The actors were unharmed but they realised that the entire set was smashed.
Moments later, the Southern GBWC team arrived into the Spider-Man 3 set.
" Anyone see a huge rampaging person come by here ?" asked Andy, looking around the damages.
" Wow !" Peter exclaimed, " He just wrecked a 30 million dollar set !"
Sam Raimi just shook his head. "If only Ang Lee had known about that guy..."
" He went over there ." mentioned Chad, pointing to the making of the " Pirates of the Caribbean" movie.
Geoffrey Rush, as the cursed Pirate captain appeared to Keira Knightly as Ms. Turner.
" You best start believing ghost stories, Ms. Turner, you're in one !"
The moment she stepped back. They heard a voice yell, " Stevens go smash !"
They both turned to see an immense person jump out of the water and crashed through the boat, which knocked the two actors off into the water.
Rush and Knightly stood up to see Kyle crash through the set and ran out the studio.
The Southern GBWC team ran through the set and saw where Kyle was heading towards.
She turned to around to see the immense figure lift her up and set her aside.
The director said, " Okay, Richard Goldridge, time for your announcement."
Richard stated, " I'm ready. How to maintain tips to make men irresistible to women by using Maxium hair style products. Tip one- The Straightdown look. Tip two- The Spikey hair look. Tip three-The Standard hair style."
* Carmen Closeup*
The lights and prop electricity flashed but instead of Carmen Electra walking out the set. It was Kyle crashing through the set.
" Stevens go smash !" he grunted, while glancing at the Maxium stickers and shiny hair.
Everyone ran out of the set. However, Kyle just stood there until he saw his teammates arrive into the scene.
" Dr. Stevens, stop what you are doing and come with us." ordered Andy, aimming his blaster at him.
" Good thing we didn't have any lawsuits on us, Andy." smirked Jeff.
While they aimed their proton blasters at Kyle. Thy all heard Hobnail, the hobgoblin's annoying laughter. " Hehehahatahhehah !"
The Southern GBWC team covered their ears. Enraged, Kyle smashed through the set.
Pamela spoke first, " I'm here to announce my new fundraiser called, A.H.R. ( Animals Have Rights). It will started next month and I hope that everything goes well."
" Yo! Yo, peeps. This is the stone cold pimp of the nation, Kid Rock. I'm here to air info on my new album, ' Kid Without A Life' coming in store this September. Peace out, y'all." he told the press.
However, they all heard a terrible smashing sound.
Pamela and Kid Rock watched as an immense figure approached them. The loud voice said, " Stevens go smash !"
" Dr. Stevens, you have been a very bad monkey." taunted Andy.
" Andy, you keep making making him angry. He'll never change back." mentioned Chad.
" Guys, my Ghostbuster sense is tingling and the annoying goblin is above us ." said Peter, checking his PKE meter.
Out from no where, the hobgoblin sprang onto the news stage and knocked Kid Rock into Kyle.
" Hello, my dear, let's ditch this American jackass and split. Hehehatahehe !" Hobnail laughed.
Terrified, Pamela screamed in terror as the annoying hobgoblin flew above the air and landed onto a building. " Help ! Someone help me !" she shouted.
" This is very bad, guys." Jeff said, " We'll have to figure a way to capture this hobgoblin." he added, while covering his ears.
" I've got an idea, Creepy, try using his laughter against him." sparked Andy.
" Good idea, Andy." Peter said, fiddling with his pocket and finding his playback recording pen.
" How loud can we get that thing to go before he wrecks the building ?" Andy asked, as he watched Kyle climb to th 10th floor.
" Let me go! Please somebody help me !" she yelled.
" Tahah." Hobnail laughed. " There's no on here to help you, my dear ! " he added.
He leered at her for a moment. " Here's my review of Stripperella !" he laughed, as he loosened his grip.
However, a huge fist had came heading towards him and connected with his lower jaw.
" Oomrph !" Hobnail shouted in pain as he was slammed into a steel pole. The huge figure came towards him. The hobgoblin looked up in fear.
The figure placed Pamela Anderson down and said, " Stevens go smash !"
As he sent a series of bonecrunching blows to the hobgoblin. Just then, Jeff and Peter arrived through the doorway.
Angrily, Kyle grabbed some empty barrels and starting throwing them at the two men. Hobnail tried to get up but was knocked down by Kyle using a barrel on him.
" I love Mario games but never wanted to be in one...we can't keep this up any longer ." warned Peter.
" No crap, Sherlock, tell me something new. Get your pen ready--He's about to tire."
The exhausted Dr. Stevens fell to his knee as the hobgoblin approached him.
" Now I have you all where I want you . I'll start with you !" he exclaimed to Dr. Stevens.
Peter reached for his playback pen.
" Listen to this, Mac." gloated Peter, as he switched his pen on high and played back the hobgoblin's annoying laughter.
" Aagrh !" Hobnail screamed, while covering his ears. " Make it stop ! It's annoying ! Why me ?!?!?" he shouted.
When he turned around. Kyle gave him a mandible breaking uppercut, which made him soar 20 feet into the air.
" Get ready to blast him." Jeff told Peter.
They watched Hobnail descend a few feet towards them.
" Now !" shouted Jeff, firing at the hobgoblin. Hobnail screamed in pain as Peter slid the trap beneath him.
" Trap open." Peter said, as he covered his eyes.
The trap's vortex had sucked Hobnail, the hobgoblin in and its doors closed shut.
Kyle fell down as Andy and Chad blasted the buildings door open.
" Sorry that we were late. I had to rewire the elevator because we got stuck." explained Chad.
Just then, Kyle's spell wore off and he was dizzy and unaware that the spell had changed him.
" Someone turn on the lights ." Kyle said, not knowing where he was at until he saw Pamela Anderson and his teammates looking over him.
" Why is Pamela Anderson here ?" he asked.
" The hobgoblin kidnapped her and you climbed 25 feet to save her." explained Jeff.
" Word of advice: never make Dr. Stevens angry." chucked Andy.
" Good one, Uncle Scooby." Peter said, talking like Scrappy Doo.
However, Kid Rock came up the building to get Pamela. " Yo, Ghostbusters, thanks for taking care of my wife." he commended them.
" Thanks, Ghostbusters." Pamela said, waving to them.
" Wow !" Peter said, blushing after Pamela left.
"Remember, Peter--they're fake" Jeff smirked.
" This just in, a rampaging monster-like man crashed through Planet Hollywood, thus closing it down and doing Hollywood a favor."
" That's insane." Kyle said, " Hey, team, I'm gonna lay down for a bit."
" Okay, Hulk, we'll put the hobgoblin away." said Jeff, as he went downstairs.
The moment Kyle went upstairs, he saw what happened to his bed.
The whole base was surrounded by Kyle's bellowing, " Mr. Whiskers !!! Have have you done to my bed !?! "
Jeff and the other members ran into the living room, wondering what happened.
Mr. Whiskers crawled out of Kyle's room, purring and then went into Dr. Fritz's room.
Ghostbusters West Coast Division Created by Andy Harness and Vincent Belmont