OPENING NIGHT II

Filed by Aidan Munroe, GBWC
GBI Case File No. GBWC-2007-25/303

July 2/3, 2007
Los Angeles, California
Ghostbusters Omnibus Timeline Year Twenty-Five
The Ecto-WC pulled up into the circle of emergency vehicles that surrounded Maan’s Chinese Theater. The black and orange striped converted SWAT van looked decidedly out of place amongst the other vehicles. From the back doors Fritz Baugh (wearing a Proton pistol system) stepped out followed by Mick Nielson, Jeff Nash (armed with proton railgun and N-saber), Will Ketchum, Aidan Munroe, and Jason Knetge. Andy Harness and Jeremy Hicks stepped out from the front of the vehicle.

“This is gonna be one of those nights isn’t it?” asked Andy, looking towards the theater. Ethereal lights were burning in many colors from the windows and front doors of the ornate but gaudy LA landmark.

“Lucky for us there only appears to be a single class V in there. So hopefully this won’t be too bad of a bust. I’ll monitor from here?” said Fritz.

“Sounds good to me,” said Andy, “Okay boys let’s go!”

The seven Ghostbusters quickly approached the front doors accompanied by a mixture of cheers and jeers from the crowd. Andy pulled up short as something as a blunt plastic object cracked him on the head. He looked down to see a Bumblebee action figure lying on the red carpet leading up to the entrance.

“All right who’s the wise guy?” said Andy, holding the figure up for all to see.

“Transformers owns you, you Eighties reject!” yelled a tubby 12-year old from the sidelines.

“You think he has any idea that Transformers and Ghostbusters started in the same era?” asked Aidan.

“From the look of him, I’m surprised that he didn’t speak to us in l33t,” remarked Jason as he passed by them.

Jeff bent down as if to tie his shoe but instead pressed a palm to the ground in the direction of the heckler. The boy began to shout as he found that his shoes had mysteriously become frozen to the ground. Smirking the biggest smirk, Jeff joined the others inside

As the Ghostbusters entered the lobby of the famous theater, they saw that a pair of 10-foot tall statues of Optimus Prime and Megatron that dominated the center of the lobby. The ethereal lights, which seemed to have been coming from all around the walls and ceiling abruptly ceased.

“Where is that little spud?” said Jeremy, “I was hoping we could wrap this up soon, I promised to take [name omitted] to see Transformers tonight.”

“Readings are spiking but I can’t tell from where,” said Jason. A sudden growling from behind them made all seven ‘busters look up.

“Oh you’ve gotta be kidding me,” muttered Will.

Outside in the Ecto-WC, Fritz glanced at the PKE readings on his instruments. “Well that’s not good,” he said just as the others came bursting out the entrance. Fritz glanced out the back just in time to see the famous entrance of the theater get smashed to pieces as Megatron, albeit a 10-foot Megatron chased after the Ghostbusters.

“DIE INSECTS!!!” it screamed, eyes burning red.

“Blast it!” yelled Andy. The busters turned, leveling their throwers at the animated statue but it was already on top of them, claw-like hands sweeping down to tear them apart. Aidan reached towards Jason, trying to pull him out of the way.

Andy thought After all the times I survived Ashram, this is such a lame way to die!

Then Megatron was sailing over their heads, tackled from behind by… none other than Optimus Prime! Eyes glowing bright blue, Prime maneuvered Megatron into a wrestling hold, keeping the struggling statue/robot in one place.

“Nobody smashes Maan’s in my town!” said Prime with a distinctly and very familiar female voice.

“Rachel?!” they all exclaimed.

“Don’t just stand there you idiots! Blast him!” yelled Rachel Prime. Not needing further encouragement, the busters opened fire. The statue of Megatron melted away under the barrage, releasing the entity within. Will tossed out the trap and with a flash of white light the ghost was sucked down into it. The trap hissed, sparked and then beeped twice, cheerily. The crowd erupted into cheers. As far as they’d been concerned this was all an awesome publicity stunt.

After putting the Optimus Prime statue back in the lobby, Rachel glided back out amidst gasps from the crowd of rubberneckers.

“Hey Rachel, thanks for the save,” said Mick Nielson. Rachel shot him a nasty look

“I didn’t do it just for you Mick,” she said curtly. The others traded odd looks. Rachel had been acting very odd as of late and there seemed to be no explanation. When Jason had made a “fairly” innocent remark about the possibility of ghostly PMS, Rachel had chased him around GB Central West for an hour and had left a large puddle of slime in the rec room.

“Rachel, where would we be without you?” said Aidan with a rakish grin, trying to defuse the silence that had followed. Rachel smiled faintly.

“Glad I’m appreciated around here.” Mick looked like he wanted to say something back but decided against it and went to unload his equipment into the Ecto.

“Looks like you’re attracting a following,” remarked Fritz, gazing around at the people behind the police barricades who were trying to get good shots of Rachel.

Geeks who filmed the entire episode would later make a fanfilm entitled: Transformers vs. Ghostbusters. The only thing anyone complained about was that Optimus, for some odd reason, had a woman’s voice. Eventually a Peter Cullen imitator dubbed over it.

As a special treat for removing the ghost and causing so much publicity, the management of Maan’s gave the Ghostbusters free tickets to see Transformers.

Mick wasn’t very impressed with the movie. “Megatron is not an alien plane thingy! He’s a frickin’ gun!”

“No offense Mick, but Megatron turning into a gun is like Darth Vader turning into his own lightsaber and having a Stormtrooper swing him around,” said Aidan.

“And what was all that about some guy who lives with his grandma being able to decipher Cybertronian language with his desktop? And they KILLED Jazz!”

Fritz and Chelsea, who’d came over with Rose Prevost and Otter, ruefully shook their heads.

Still arguing, the team climbed into the Ecto-WC and Rose’s car and drove back to GB Central West.

(Cue Transformers Theme by Mute Math)

The End

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