DEATH OF THE GHOSTBUSTERS WEST COAST
Filed by Jason Knetge, GBWC
GBI Case File No. GBWC-2007-25/214
Except for Client Administrator Rose Prevost who had been at her desk all night .
Normally she worked the the day shift with Chelsea Aberdeen Baugh, the other Client Administrator, and wife of Ghostbuster West Coast CEO Dr. Fritz V. Baugh, but today was different . Rose slammed the phone down , " Stupid prank callers--every year the same thing! "
Rose looked down at the desk calendar and began rubbing her temples. For the last week day by day things had been getting worse, all leading up to today, April First . Rose drew a red X on the calendar recalling a few days earlier begging Fritz to have this April Fools Day off . She managed working the night shift instead but in her mind it was well worth it .
Rose was snapped out her thoughts by the sound of the phone ringing . Rose brushed her hair back while answering " Ghostbusters West Coast Client Administrator Rose Prevost speaking how may I help you? "
A loud operatic female voice called out "Oh good the Ghostbusters, you just have to help me . Please, it's horrible, terrible! "
" Please ma'am, calm down and just take it slow . Can you tell me were you are? "
"I'm at my home the address is 1428 Evergreen Terrace "
Rose jotted the address down on another pad.
" OK 1428 Evergreen Terrace, can you describe the ghost? "
The woman became more frantic . " He's a big nasty smelly brute! "
Rose put her hand back on head.
"Ma'am, any physical description? "
" Oh, well he's a fat and yellow class three with a brown mussel and two hairs on his head. " Faint snickering could be heard over the phone .
Rose cocked a suspicious eye brow that the sound was coming from the other end of the phone.
" And can you please send that wonderful ha ha polite ha ha legend Bo Holbrook ha ha ha?" While laughing, the woman's voice shifted from an operatic to a deep burly one. Other voices could be heard laughing along with Bo .
Rose's face contorted into a frown. " Screw you Holbrook! Why must you torment us every year? There are other franchises you know! "
Bo stifled his laugh enough to say " It's an annual tradition."
" It's annoying is what it is! " said with an added sharpness.
Bo's hearty laugh went to a soft chuckle " Ha ha OK OK Rosey take it easy, maybe it's time I try Mick and the South Coast boys "
" Well go a ahead and give them the full Nightsquad experience " Rose blew a raspberry and hung up before Bo could reply.
Rose let out a sigh. She didn't care that another franchise was being tormented . All she wanted was to get far from the guys before they woke up and started their prank war.
Lifting her head to see the time, she was relieved the clock read 8;00 AM . She picked up her purse and shuffled the semi-important papers onto Chelsea's adjacent desk .
Leaving the front office Rose was surprised to run in to Chelsea in the garage of west cost HQ .
" You're up early "
Chelsea look around suspiciously. " You know, things to do. "
A suspicious look formed Rose's face " You hid his leg again, didn't you? "
Chelsea brought a finger up to the smile that formed on her face and struck an innocent pose , " Who me? "
Chelsea knew as the wife of the CEO, she was safe from the worst of the pranks by the boys and was the only one who could get her husband Fritz.
Rose rolled her eye's " I left all the papers on your desk. And someone from the phone company called . He said that he had to come today to do an inspection ."
" Must be all that World of Warcraft Aidan has been playing on line . What time will he be here? ."
" Between twelve and two "
"Which means by five if we're lucky..."
The conversation was broken by a door slamming shut by a tiny little man . Dr. Nathaniel "Otter" Masterson, Chief Engineer for the Ghostbuster West Coast came walked from the other end of the garage to the two women..
Chelsea was the first to notice that Otter wasn't wearing his normal overalls . Instead he was sporting some tan pants and a brown Hawaiian shirt topped off with a yellow bow tie .
" Up early I see " Chelsea noted
"Going somewhere? " Rose asked, despite being slightly afraid of the answer.
Otter stopped in front of the two women. " You bet--I'm not sticking around here! Every year those boys compete with each other to see who is the master prankster and every year I get caught in the crossfire!!! "
Rose brought a hand to her face to hide her smile. " You mean like last year when jumped out of the back room and froze you? What was it they called you? "
Otter folded his arms in protest as Chelsea blurted out the answer. " It was Otter Pop as I remember, they called you that for a whole week "
All Otter did was frown as both girls laughed together.
Still chuckling to he self Rose walked over to her car and opened the door. " Come on Otter I'll give you a lift to were you want to go. "
Otter hopped into the passenger side of the car .
"Buckle up and where to? "
Otter snapped his belt then adjusted his tie. "The Gentlemen's Club if you please."
Rose rolled her eyes as she started the car .
Chelsea waved good bye as the car exited the warehouse and drove away . Sounds of laughter could be heard from upstairs . " I guess they're are up. There goes the peace and quiet. " Chelsea let out a sigh as she walked in the front office.
Second in line was Andy Harness " Whoever is in the shower is taking their sweet time ."
Jeremy Hicks was the third in line " This could be bad depending on who it is in there. "
Aidan questioningly looked at Jeremy and Andy's worried expressions turned to surprise as Jeff Nash emerged from the bathroom .
" Finally! " Aidan ran into the the bath room hoping to make up for lost time .
The three remaining men starred in unease as Jeff counted down with his fingers, three. . . two . . . one .
" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA you turned all the water to ice! Oh god even the toilet is frozen! "
" BLA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA "
The guys' laughing subsided and Andy was the first to speak " That was pretty good Mr. Creepy! But nothing compared to the traps me and Jeremy set! "
Jeff raised an eyebrow " What do you mean pretty good? I'll have you know ..... "
Jeremy cut Jeff off " Come on Jeff you do the same gag every year. "
" Not every year"
"Okay, you didn't in '04, but only because you didn't have your Creepy Freeze powers then." Andy rolled his eyes.
"Oh, so what do you two master pranksters have that's so great? "
Jeremy led the group into the hall way " Well, me and Andy decided to work together and try to get two victims. ."
Andy gestured to the hall way floor. " As you can see we laid a small path of grease from one end of the hall to the other ."
Jeff stroked his goatee as Rachel Leavenworth, resident ghost and self-appointed cleaning staff, came floating in .
" What did you guy's do to the floor? Now I have to clean it all over again " Rachel sighed as she flew to the laundry room to get her mop and bucket . A small spark arced from where Rachel attempted to pass through the wall, causing her to fly back .
Andy was the first to laugh " You OK Cellophane? "
" Ow! What did you guy's do the walls? "
Jeremy slapped his hand on his thigh. " We gave the walls a negative charge that will last all day "
Andy's face sported a Cheshire grin " Guess you will have to us the door like every living person here "
The room went very cold and a faint hint of smoke could be smelled in the air as Rachel opened the door to the laundry room . " You don't want to mess with a dead chick Harness! " definite signs of anger in her voice.
The three men winced as Rachel slammed the doer to the laundry room shut . Jeff continued to stroke his goatee " I admit that was good--so who's Victim #2?
Putting on a pair of shorts and a T-shirt, he thought to himself, " This isn't so bad maybe I should move out of my parents' house and crash here full time "
Letting out a yawn, Jason walked out the door and wasn't aware that he had stepped on the trail of grease left by Jeremy and Andy until he was in mid air. . " What the .....OUFFF!""
Landing hard on his back Jason slid down the hall
Thanks to the assistance of the wall. the sliding Ghostbuster came to an abrupt halt. .
With a smile Jeff clapped his hands while Andy and Jeremy both took a bow .
Andy put his arms around Jeff and Jeremy " Gentlemen, seeing how our traps have been sprung and the bath room needs to thaw, what's say we celebrate with a good breakfast? "
Jason lay there hearing the three men go off into the kitchen . Puling himself up Jason looked over as the door to the room next to him opened revealing the CEO of the of the West Coast Division, Dr. Fritz V. Baugh . An obvious look of displeasure was on Fritz's face as he rolled out of his room in his chair .
" Good morning Fritz. I see your doing the Professor X thing again today "
" And I see you found a new way to block the hall "
Jason was shocked and regretted the comment he had made to Fritz. " Sorry Fritz, bad morning ? "
Fritz ran his fingers threw his hair. "More like a bad week . These jokes are far from practical and they've been getting worse every day. " He rubbed his temples.
Looking up at Fritz with a concerned expression, " Hey Fritz, can I ask you a question? "
Jeremy leaned back in his chair. " I can't believe how far he slid not to mention that slam into the wall "
Andy sat down and poured the cereal in the boll, a hint of arrogance in his voice. " I still say seeing Rachel get thrown back was priceless "
" She's going to get you back you know... " said Jeremy with a slight hint of worry in his voice.
Andy shrugged his shoulders while he poured the carton of milk into his cereal. "What can she do? I'll see her coming from a mile a way ."
Jeff leaned forward in his chair swallowing a bite from his pop tart. " Emm.... gulp just remember the rule, the one at the end of the day with the best prank wins and ........"
Jeff trailed off as he gave a disgusted look across the table . Jeremy turned to see what could make Jeff react in that way .
Jeremy nearly spoke up but Jeff held up a hand stopping him as Andy brought a big spoon full of cereal to his mouth " What 's with you guy's? You look like you lost your appetite. . CHOMP....." Andy's eye's nearly tripled in size as he coughed up the contents of what he ate. " COUGH COUGH what the hell COUGH " Andy turned green when he saw the unholy concoction of Froot Loops and blue ectoplasm that he had just eaten .
" See Harness, I told you, you don't want to mess with a dead chick! " said Rachel floating up through the table with satisfaction in her voice . Turning to Jeremy with a bottle of syrup in her hand , " Can I get you any thing Jay, pancakes perhaps? "
" (Gulp) ...... Ah, no that's okay, I'm on a diet... "
Rachel looked at Jeff accusingly as he leaned back in his chair. "Hey, don't look at me. I didn't make you bounce off the wall."
A shivering Aidan walked into the kitchen stopping to see the sight before him . Andy hunched over coughing, Jeremy looking ready to vomit , Jeff with an attitude as cool as as a block of ice staring at Rachel floating over the table with a bottle of syrup in her hand .
" Oh cool " Aidan turned to shout down the hall " Hey Jason we're having pancakes "
" Awesome, make sure mine have extra syrup. "
" Good morning Kyle have you seen Chelsea today? "
"Sorry Fritz, what, is this the third time this week? "
" She's caught up in it as much as anyone else... " he shook his head. "Joey and his stupid contest back in '04...now I'm stuck with it. That was probably part of the prank..."
" Well hang in there Fritz. " Kyle scratched his shaggy beard. "These blood samples are interesting Fritz. You should take a look, fascinating simply fascinating! "
Rolling his chair over Fritz removed his glasses and started to focus the microscope. " I fail to see the interest, these look like regular blood samples to me."
Kyle muffled his laughter with his hand as Fritz turned to Kyle with a puzzled look unaware of the two black rings around his eye's . Kyle could no longer stand it and broke out in a burst of laughter " BLHA HA HA HA HA HA HA BLHA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"
Confused Fritz sat there until realization hit him . After confirming his suspicions with a swipe of is finger Fritz did an immediate about- face with his chair .
Kyle wiped a hysterical tear from his eye as Fritz stormed out of the room .
Jeremy turned from the entertaining display on the floor to Jeff and Andy. " Well since we've got some down time any suggestions on how we could make the best of it? "
Rotating his shoulder Jeff suggested with a somewhat reluctant tone, " We could extend our workout routine in the Danger Room and really push ourselves this time."
Leaning back in his chair Andy stared at the ceiling " That sounds like a good idea."
Even Aidan and Jason stop their gagging and stared at Andy, whose face was forming a Cheshire grin. " But first I think the video consoles haven't been inspected in far too long. "
A hint of upbeat sarcasm was in Jeff's voice " Yeah I agree. Ten hours is far far too long "
" But which one do we inspect first and with what game? " asked Jeremy inquisitively .
" That's simple ," said Andy. " The first one in the rec room gets to choose "
The kitchen went silent. The scene was like that out of an old Western. Everyone glaring at the other waiting to see who will make the first move . Jason and Aidan both looked at each other and due to their proximity to the kitchen door, were the first out the door followed by Jeff, Andy and Jeremy .
Going upstairs for a snack Kyle stopped to talk to Rachel who was moping up the grease in the hallway . Turning in surprise Kyle ducked into an open door to an adjacent room as the stampeding herd of men ran through Rachel .
Emerging from the safety of the door he was in, unsure of what just happened , Kyle turned to Rachel " Did you get the number of that train? "
Slowly turning in the direction of chaos that just passed, " Sorry, I missed it. "
After five minutes of fighting the guy's decided on a game and were enjoying a round of Super Smash Brothers when Chelsea's voice came over the upstairs intercom .
" Andy , Aidan , Jeremy , Jason come down to the garage, you guys got a call "
With a groan the four men went to the garage .
Chelsea was waiting of them as they arrived .
" Hey Chelsea what's the deal? Ten minutes ago you said we had some time kill " shouted Andy with some slight anger.
Chelsea looked at Andy with a frown. " Ten minutes? Check your watch! It was more like two hours ago! "
A surprised look on his face, Andy confirmed the time with his watch that read 12;15 PM "
Jeremy mockingly stretched his arms " Well that's enough of a work out for me "
The four men headed over to the lockers by the ECTO-WC to suit up .
As the man approached she couldn't help but feel that along with this guy's mustache he had one of the hugest noses she'd ever seen .
" Are you the lady I talked to on the phone, a Ms. Prevost? I'm here to inspect the lines. "
Chelsea jerked her head back to attention. " Uh no, I'm Chelsea Aberdeen Baugh . Let me show you the office and warn you about our cleaning crew... "
The dumpy fat man followed Chelsea into the office.
Enthusiastically Aidan went and started the ECTO-WC . Just finishing zipping up his flight suit Jason turned to see the ECTO-WC pulling away " Hey hold up ..... wait for me..... guy's .....GUY'S ....... HEY WHAT UP ! "
Andy , Aidan , Jeremy laughed to themselves as they kept the ECTO-WC at least ten feet from Jason as he ran down the street after them.
" If there's anything else I can do for you just let me know perhaps I could ....."
Chelsea held up a hand to stop him and with the most professional smile she could force said " Well thank you for the inspection but if you don't mind I have a lot to do as I'm sure you do too . "
The smile momentarily left the man's face " Well have a good day then Ghostbusters " With that the man turned on his heel and rushed out the garage door .
Rachel phased her head through the wall " Is that weirdo gone? "
" Yea, he's gone " Chelsea put her hand on her chin in contemplation. " It was weird. . . he didn't seem to be startled when I told him a semitransparent Class III would be floating around. And then when he saw you..."
" I'll say; every time he saw me he would look at like a cat looking at a mouse "
"Maybe he thought you're some sort of elaborate prank..." Chelsea's musing was interrupted by the sound of the ECTO-WC approaching the warehouse .
Rachel let out a sigh, " Here come the boys--Do you think all calls were fake? '"
"I swear, every year on April 1st every would-be comedian in the Valley calls in with some prank ghost attack or another..." Chelsea shrugged as she opened the door to the office. " Either way it's still paperwork. "
ECTO-WC slowly backed into the garage doorway of the West Coast HQ .
Jeremy and Andy both hopped out of the front of the ECTO-WC while Jason and Aidan exited the back with the equipment .
Andy let out a yawn as he stretched. " After those first two prank calls it was nice to get some action on that last one "
" I'll say! I thought to day was going to be a total waste " Jeremy added.
After the last packs were safe in the equipment room Aidan and Jason walked back to ECTO-WC .
" Hey Jason did you get a look at that new billboard on the way back? "
" You mean the one that just had G,R,U on it ? "
" Yeah. What do you suppose it's for ?"
" Don't know, maybe it for a new band or something "
Aidan sighed " Jason, I was going to change then hit the showers, is it OK if you get the traps? "
"Sure, it's cool " Jason nodded, and grabbed the traps from the back of the ECTO-WC. Aidan began unzipping his flight suit as he walked over to the lockers.
Traps in hand Jason went and stood in front of Andy and Jeremy . With a smile Jason extended the traps offering the job of storage to his two teammates.
Andy held up his hand in protest as a grin formed on his face " Sorry man, It's tradition the rookie cleans the traps for a whole year."
The extended traps fell to Jason's sides as he gave Andy a suspicious look before walking away .
With a smile Jeremy looked at Andy " Since when is the new guy's emptying the traps a tradition? "
" Since I just thought of it right now. It's a new tradition but a tradition none the less. "
" That's cold, Man " said Jeremy chuckling to himself " That's cold "
Andy rested his hands on the back of is head " What, you rather I trick some one else to do it? "
" Oh no, don't get me wrong, I'm glad you tricked someone else besides me for a change.. "
The two 'busters were startled by a loud buzz that echoed throughout the whole warehouse, a buzz that ran shivers down the spine of every Ghostbuster .
Jason came running out of the containment room .
"Clear the building she's going to blow!"
A look of confusion fell across Andy's face as he yelled over the buzz . "What in the hell happened?!?! "
" I don't know one minute I'm putting in the trap the next the alarm is going off!!!"
Jeremy and Andy nodded their heads in agreement as they both exchanged looks.
Jeremy bolted for the drivers seat of ECTO-WC . Revving the engine so he could make a fast exit once everyone was on .
As Andy slid open the back of the ECTO-WC he called out every one, " GET OUT OF HERE !"
Aidan, half changed, was the first in the van .
The door of the reception area flew open as Chelsea and Kyle flew towards the ECTO-WC.
Chelsea hesitated before getting on . "Where's Fritz? I'm not going without Fritz ."
Kyle put his hand on her shoulder and said "He'll be here in time, the important thing is he would want you to be safe!"
As Chelsea and Kyle boarded the vehicle, Jason went to ask Andy,
"Is this everyone?"
Andy shook his head no. "Fritz , Jeff and Rachel still aren't here ."
After he said that Rachel floated down, "Is this the coach out of Dodge?" .
"You mean you're not sticking around to meet your friends?" Andy said with a slight smile .
Rachel looked at Andy, "Yeah right, all the friends I helped stay locked up ."
"HHHEEEEEYYYYYYYAAAAAH" Jason, Andy and Rachel looked to see Jeff leap off the second story balcony. Jeff flew to the end of the garage, and gripped the wall before kicking off .
Jeff spun through the air before sticking a perfect landing.
Rachel rolled her eyes and said, " Show off !"
A mischievous grin formed on Jeff 's face as Andy gestured to him to get on the van .
Jason nervously looked at Andy, " That's everyone."
"Are you sure?" asked Andy as he boarded the ECTO.
"Yeah" replied Jason immediately following Andy onto the van.
"Jeremy, we're all here, punch it ."
Jeremy slammed his foot down on the gas pedal .
A small amount of smoke came from the spinning tires as the ECTO-WC went screeching out of the West Coast HQ .
The sharp turn the ECTO made as it left the parking lot caused Fritz's cleverly hidden leg to land in front of the one that hid it .
Chelsea look around, " Fritz, we forgot Fritz!"
"Stop the Fucking car we forgot Fritz !" Andy shouted
Jeremy's eye's went wide as he slammed on the brakes .
The ECTO-WC came to a sudden halt six blocks from the West Coast HQ
Andy grabbed Jason by the collar, " I thought you said everyone was here ?"
"In all the confusion, I thought they were ".
Chelsea bolted from the back of the ECTO-WC and began to run back towards the direction of the warehouse, followed by the rest of the team .
Chelsea barely made it about thirty feet before she was stopped by Aidan and Kyle.
"Chelsea I can't let you go back there ."
"Let me go I have to save Fritz I have to help him !!!"
"Chelsea, please listen to Kyle ."
" But Fritz is still back there !"
All words were momentarily silenced by a loud boom and a cloud of white smoke emerging from the top of the warehouse .
Chelsea sank in the arms of Kyle and Aidan, " Fritz he was still inside oh God Fritz Fritz" .
Rachel and six of the Ghostbusters stood there in shock and confusion .
Jeff's brow furrowed. "There's something wrong here. That's not your typical containment explosion ."
Rachel nodded her head, " Yeah...and I don't sense any other ghosts."
"Hey guys look over here!"
The group turned in unison only to be met with a bright flash .
As Jason lowered the camera he pointed a finger at them and yelled out "APRIL FOOLS!! BAH HA HA HA HA HA HA !"
Jeremy pointed at the warehouse, "But the explosion?" .
"HA HA, just a home made fire work! HA HA HA HA!"
Andy scratched his head, "But the alarm? How ?"
Jason wiped a tear from his eye, " HA HA HA! It was rigged to go off, HA HA HA! "
A smirk formed on Jeff's face " I didn't think you had it in you ."
Jeremy let out a small chuckle. .
Chelsea quickly got to her feet and it was all Kyle and Aidan could do to keep her from punching Jason's lights out .
"It's not funny!" yelled Chelsea. "What in the hell were you thinking ? We all thought the containment was going to blow, I thought I lost ..."
A small look of guilt was on Chelsea's face as Andy stopped her verbal attack .
Jason still had a smile on his face .
Andy had an uncharacteristic serious expression on his face "Jason this is serious, this is the type of thing people are let go for ."
Jason held back a smile as best he could. " So what's going to happen to me then?"
Andy took off is hat and brushed his hair back with his hand .
"Well I would have to let you go here and now, but I think it's up to the man who was left behind. I wouldn't want you to miss one of Fritter's little speeches."
Kyle , Jeremy and Jeff all shuddered as they all piled in to the van .
The van made it's way back to the warehouse. The whole team could see Fritz sitting in front of the garage door, hands on the wheels of his chair and a look on his face that let them know that he wasn't happy with what happened .
Aidan turned and said, " Well it was nice knowing you Jason maybe when Fritz is done with you, you can help Rachel clean the place."
The eight Ghostbusters shuffled out of the van .
Fritz reached out his hand, " Chelsea, if you please ."
Chelsea gave Fritz the prosthetic limb that she was carrying .
Fritz hastily attached the prosthetic and stood up from his seat.
Andy tried to speak on Jason's behalf but before Andy could say a word Fritz gestured him to stop .
Fritz stood in front of Jason, his six foot height gave him an inch of height to still be able to look down that the five- eleven Jason.
"In 1983, a dickless bureaucrat shut down the Containment Unit at Ghostbusters Central, severely damaging the building and directly contributing to the summoning of Gozer the Gozarian. Twenty years later, a cult blew up the Containment Unit at Nightsquad headquarters in Brooklyn, releasing the Blair Witch, and a direct cause of the return of Samhain and the death of two members of that franchise."
"You want to know why I bring this up, Mister Knetge? I don't think you realize what a serious offense this is. The Containment Unit is wired to sound that alarm tone for a reason--a catastrophic breach, possibly the gravest situation a Ghostbusters International franchise could ever. The alarm is not a toy--it's part of the system that helps make sure that nothing like Gozer or the Hain Witch ever happens again. Tampering with that system puts you, us, the city, maybe even the entire world in jeopardy!!!"
The whole team was silent. They didn't hear Fritz yell very often. It was surprisingly intimidating.
"Well is there anything you have to say or show for this ?"
A smile formed on Jason's face as he said, "Thanks for the help--it went just as we planned!"
"Did you get the picture?"
"Yep! I sure did!"
Fritz's expression morphed into a mischievous smirk as the other Ghostbusters' eyes went wide in realization .
Chelsea glanced at Jason , then looked that Fritz . " You mean you were in on it the whole time?"
"Come now, think about it. To bypass all the security measures and activate the ECU's alarm test mode, you'd either have to be an expert computer hacker..."
Fritz held up and dangled his set of keys . "Or have an Administrator-level password..."
Jason let out a small cough, "Sorry Fritz, but you said that you would help me send this to the other franchises" pointing to the camera in his hand.
"Oh, but of course, lets go to my office."
The two men walked away leaving the other Ghostbusters outside to contemplate all that had transpired .
After a few minutes Jeremy was the first to speak. "It kills me to admit this, but was a pretty good one."
Kyle was the second to speak, "So what do we do next?"
Andy raised a finger. . . "Revenge ! "
Jeff nodded his head in agreement, " It IS a dish best served cold!" .
Rachel clapped her hands in approval, " Revenge, sweat sweat revenge."
Aidan looked at his friends, "So should we plan for next year?"
"No", said Chelsea, who at this point had her arms folded and was tapping her foot. " When they least suspect it guys, when they least expect it!"
Ghostbusters West Coast Division Created by Andy Harness and Vincent Belmont